When I was a kid, I thought I’d write and direct movies when I grew up. If I didn’t make movies, I was going to be a film critic. Or a cartoonist. Or a newspaper columnist. Maybe I’d get a job at a cool, thriving, definitely human-written website like Cracked or BuzzFeed. Whatever the case, I was going to be a writer! A creative, dammit!

It turns out movies are really, really, really hard to make. Especially without generational wealth or familial connections! I’ll write more- a lot more- on that soon. And the journalism industry? Ha. Ha ha ha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Honestly, it feels like I was born in the very last era one could grow up dreaming of writing for a living, only for the dream to disintegrate before my eyes like half the cast at the end of Avengers: Infinity War.

Unlike Infinity War, it’s not obvious to anyone with half a brain that the dream will be revived. It seems doubtful that the film and journalism industries will ever be healthy again.

There are plenty of things to blame: generative AI, Covid, late-stage capitalism, a rise in anti-intellectualism... the list goes on and on. I can blame myself too! I am unfortunately not a -baby, and I didn’t even attempt to get into any half-decent colleges. I was too poor to ever consider NYU or USC viable options. After graduating with my film degree from the 9th-best college in Utah, I chose having a healthy marriage, being a good dad, and having a somewhat stable bank account over moving to LA to hustle and grind 80 hours a week for a shot at a chance of a hope of breaking into the entertainment industry.

Like I said, I’ll write plenty more about all that soon enough. Suffice it to say, I am not writing for a living. I actually work in a library, and I’m working on my Masters of Library & Information Science. I’ll have more to say on that too, but let me just say that I think library work is one of the best, most ethical careers one can have within our dystopian capitalist nightmare. I’m proud to have a reliable job with health insurance.

But something keeps nagging me. I still have the sick, twisted inclination to keep writing for an audience! Even if I’m not getting paid for it!

Enter PAN & SCAN, my newsletter/blog!

It’s my goal for every issue of Pan & Scan to contain at least three of the following elements:

That being said, I only have so much time on my hands. I’m not gonna go to movies that I know I’m not gonna like. For example, I will not be reviewing Michael! I already know it’s going to be another lazily made, formulaic musical biopic. And morally reprehensible to boot! No thanks!

Some issues might contain more. Some might contain less. The format will probably evolve as I go. If you’re lucky, I might even include a poem sometimes.¹

How often will I send out new issues? I want to say weekly, but I am a grad student with a full-time job and a toddler. Weekly is the goal, but I may miss a week here and there. What’s cool is it doesn’t really matter, because I have no editor, no deadlines, no rules. I do what I want around here!

What I don’t want to do is knock out a few issues in quick succession then slow down to one every few months until I give up. I really do want to be consistent. And that’s why you should subscribe, so you never miss a new issue!

“Sam, are you really giving up on your dream of writing movies?”

Ehh, I mean… I do have two screenplays under option by a local film producer. I teach screenwriting workshops here and there. But really to get anywhere with filmmaking— even on the local indie scene— requires just about 100% of your time and dedication. You ever wonder why everyone in Hollywood has been divorced three times? Why there are so many movies about bad dads?

I’m just not willing to put screenwriting ahead of my wife and daughter, and if that didn’t bar me breaking into from the industry, my lack of generational wealth/familial connections would. Breaking in without such resources is virtually impossible, and anyone who tries to tell you differently probably just wants your screenwriting competition or film festival entry fee money.

But look, never say never. If the opportunity arises and the circumstances are right, maybe my dream will be revived one day. I’m just not counting on it anymore. I obviously still love movies, though, which is why I’m starting a film review blog!

“Sam, if you want to be a movie critic, why don’t you try TikTok or YouTube?”

Well, first of all, I believe short-form video content is one of the worst things that’s ever happened to humanity, let alone film criticism. More on that in a later issue, I’m sure. But even if TikTok and YouTube had cultures of journalistic integrity and nuance (which they don’t), I absolutely could not stand watching and hearing myself all the time! I do not know how other people do it. (I’d like to say narcissism, but is it any more narcissistic than writing a blog?)

And as I said before, the culture of hustling and grinding— in this case, pumping out content on the regular and chasing algorithms— is simply not the life for me. I want thoughtful authenticity, and I want to do it on my terms and in my own time.

I have had a Letterboxd account (@pan_scan) for years, which you should also follow, but that’s mostly for short, tossed-off thoughts and jokes.

Besides, I don’t necessarily want to only talk about movies. I want to talk about all kinds of stuff going on in my life and the world. A newsletter allows me to do that.

“Are you worried no one will subscribe?”

Well, yeah, a little bit. It will be easier to maintain consistency if I know people are reading.

But let me make something perfectly clear: I’m not trying to make money off of this. I’m not trying to go viral. I’m not trying to use this to try to finagle my way into press screenings or becoming a Rotten Tomatoes critic. This blog/newsletter is something I want to do for me, myself, and I, at no charge to the reader.²

As Sensei Sergio of One Battle After Another (my personal favorite of 2025) would say:

I’m starting Pan & Scan to keep my writing muscles strong. To write about things I care about. To be as authentic and thoughtful as one is allowed to be on the internet. If that means I only ever have 1-3 loyal readers (shoutout to my wife and parents), that’s gonna be good enough.

But if you want to read too, excellent! Thank you so much! If you want to share Pan & Scan with your friends and family, all the better! Hey, why not? It’s free! If you’re just here to hate-read Pan & Scan to get a load of what a pretentious asshole I am, that’s okay too, I guess.

If you want to submit feedback or questions, feel free! There should be a comment section below (maybe just on the web version?), or you can email [email protected].

Thanks again! This counts as this week’s essay, by the way.

Summer movie season (May-August) is upon us. In lieu of a review this week, I’ll run down my five most anticipated films of the summer.

Boots Riley, Hollywood’s only out-and-proud communist director working today, returns with his first film in 8 years (his last being the hilarious, all-too-relevant Sorry to Bother You). I Love Boosters centers on a group of shoplifters (led by the captivating Keke Palmer) infiltrating the world of high fashion. I expect great gags, wild visuals, and a hearty of dose of leftist ideology (non-derogatory).

I’m sorry, but if you’re not hyped for a brand new, original Steven Spielberg alien movie, then you’re not a real movie fan. The guy is nearing 80, but he has not been playing around in his old age. If you skipped his West Side Story and The Fabelmans, stop reading this and go watch them immediately! Then mark your calendar for Disclosure Day!

I hate hearing Woody say the word “tech” in the trailer, and I fear that Disney’s gonna go way too soft on the damage screens do to kids (thank god their Open AI deal fell through, but they’re still looking to get in on the slop-market). But I can’t help myself! I love Toy Story, and I’m excited to take my daughter. If it sucks, at least it won’t technically be the first bad Toy Story.

I mean, come on. If Christopher Nolan, hot off of winning Best Picture and Director for Oppenheimer (a masterpiece, imo), wants to adapt Homer’s the Odyssey, who are we to question him? This is the movie event of the summer as far as I’m concerned. Hell, it could be the last picture ever made with this many stars and real locations.

Originally scheduled for release in July 2023 before being ruthlessly cancelled for a tax write-off by Warner Bros. and miraculously revived by Ketchup Entertainment (who also released the fun-enough The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie), Coyote vs. Acme would be one of my most anticipated even without the roller coaster behind the scenes drama. A Who Framed Roger Rabbit/Looney Tunes: Back in Action-style hybrid about Wile E. Coyote suing the Acme corporation starring Will Forte and John Cena? Here’s what I say:

Those are the ones I’m most looking forward to. Which movies will make the most moolah at the box office? Here’s the list of predictions I made for the Film Cast’s annual Summer Movie Wager at thesummermoviewager.com:

Maybe I’m crazy putting The Odyssey that high, but I feel like the hype is strong. In a just world, the Moana remake would crash and burn, but I’m not that optimistic. The final three picks are “dark horses,” ones that could sneak their way into the top 10. I’m just saying, wouldn’t it be a better world if Jackass 5 made more money than a faux-live-action Moana?

Drawn with a Huion tablet in Canva. I forgot that I’m not very good at drawing cars lol. Or maybe drawing, period? But at least it’s not AI!!!

I’ve been listening to the audiobook of George Harrison: The Reluctant Beatle by Philip Norman. I’ve loved the Beatles since I was 12, but I only just got into their solo stuff in the past year. For my money, Harrison’s All Things Must Pass is one of the best albums of all time and 100% more spiritually fulfilling than any church service. It’s been kind of a bummer to learn he wasn’t exactly a paragon of virtue while he recorded it lol

I also started watching H2O: Just Add Water with my wife. She grew up with it, but I would not have gotten away with watching it in my house, partly because ours was a house full of boys and partly because the main cast spend a good amount of time in bikinis or mermaid-bras, and my Mormon mom would not have approved. It’s good, clean, campy fun though, and it gives a nice hit of late ‘00s nostalgia. I’d move to Australia in a heartbeat if I had the chance.

Thanks again for reading! Do not forget to SUBSCRIBE!

See you next week!

I want to be great

Influential, distinguished

But not work long hours